DON’T PUSH IT

This is an alleged transcript of the actual radio conversation of a U.S. Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland.

Canadians: Please change your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: Recommend you change course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

Canadians: Negative. You will have to change your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, change your course.

Canadians: No, I say again, you change your course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier, USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north. I say again, that’s one five degrees north, or counter-measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.